Bikini-clad Louise Thompson shares an adorable photo with her son Leo

‘Keep calm and carry on’: Bikini-clad Louise Thompson shares an adorable photo with her son Leo as she relaxes by the pool amid fears she has ‘brain damage’ and ‘a form of dementia’

  • If you have been affected by anything in this story please contact Birth Trauma Association at birthtraumaassociation.org.uk 
  • For help and support with perinatal mental illness please contact PANDAS on 0808 1961 776 

Louise Thompson reminded her followers to ‘keep calm and carry on’ as she slipped into a bikini to relax by the pool with her son Leo on Monday. 

The former Made In Chelsea star, 32, basked in the sun at the mystery destination after she detailed her fears that she is suffering from ‘brain damage’ and ‘a form of dementia‘ as she updated fans on her recovery from PTSD and post-natal anxiety.

Taking to Instagram, Louise shared the adorable photo as Leo, eight months, napped on the sun lounger with her. 

'Keep calm': Bikini-clad Louise Thompson, 32, shared an adorable photo with her son Leo as she relaxed by the pool amid fears she has 'brain damage' and 'a form of dementia' on Monday

‘Keep calm’: Bikini-clad Louise Thompson, 32, shared an adorable photo with her son Leo as she relaxed by the pool amid fears she has ‘brain damage’ and ‘a form of dementia’ on Monday

She looked radiant in the neon two piece with a ruffled trim as she pulled her caramel locks back into a neat plait. 

Louise shielded her eyes with an oversized pair of reflective Oakley sunglasses and smiled sweetly for the selfie. 

Little Leo was shielded from the sun by a muslin blanket as the reality TV star penned: ‘Today’s attitude: keep calm and carry on.’

Cute: Little Leo was shielded from the sun by a muslin blanket as the reality TV star penned: 'Today's attitude: keep calm and carry on'

Cute: Little Leo was shielded from the sun by a muslin blanket as the reality TV star penned: ‘Today’s attitude: keep calm and carry on’

It comes as the Made In Chelsea star admitted her mental health struggles have come close to ‘destroying her family,’ just a week after revealing she had started ‘talking therapy’ following another stint in hospital. 

Louise also admitted that seven months after giving birth to her son Leo she still ‘dreads life’ and has reached a ‘weird stage’ where she is ‘blocking everything out’ following a highly traumatic birth.

The former reality star added that her fiancé Ryan Libbey, 31, has now revealed to her that he is also is suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) in the wake of Louise’s battle. 

It comes as the Made In Chelsea star admitted her mental health struggles have come close to 'destroying her family,' just a week after revealing she had started 'talking therapy'

It comes as the Made In Chelsea star admitted her mental health struggles have come close to ‘destroying her family,’ just a week after revealing she had started ‘talking therapy’ 

Louise shared the insight into her health woes alongside a trio of candid snaps taken during her current beach holiday, where she donned a loose-fitting orange dress.

Her caption began with the question of ‘where she was at with her recovery,’ with the star writing: ‘Mmmmm. I’m at a weird stage now where I’m blocking everything out. Maybe I said that way back at the beginning? 

‘I can’t actually remember much because I’m still trying to protect myself from the pain. I don’t want to re-read. This condition feels very repetitive. 

‘Finally it DOES feel like everything happened a long time ago but it also feels like it happened to someone else and not me.’

Ordeal: Louise added that her fiancé Ryan Libbey, 31, has now revealed to her that he is also is suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) in the wake of Louise's battle

Ordeal: Louise added that her fiancé Ryan Libbey, 31, has now revealed to her that he is also is suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) in the wake of Louise’s battle

‘I kind of feel like I’ve erased my entire past and started life as a totally new person. A sometimes sick person. People tell me how far I’ve come, but I can’t remember how far. 

‘I can remember a weird amount of things from my childhood… sensory things will remind me of the strangest memories from way back when I was 5-15, but then I’ve sort of erased everything between then and now.

‘Now that I mention it, sometimes ALL I can feel is sensory stuff, like the feeling I get when I go from a hot room to a cold room and it helps me connect to the world around me.’

Louise continued: ‘To put it bluntly I’m struggling to move on with ‘normal’ life. Every day I feel physically very unwell and every other day I seem to have an hour long period (sometimes longer) where I feel messed up in my brain – I don’t know what it is, but it feels like brain damage or a mini stroke. 

Tough time: Louise shared the insight into her health woes alongside a trio of candid snaps taken during her current beach holiday, where she donned a loose-fitting orange dress

Tough time: Louise shared the insight into her health woes alongside a trio of candid snaps taken during her current beach holiday, where she donned a loose-fitting orange dress

Tough time: Her caption began with the question of 'where she was at with her recovery,' admitting she's struggling with periods where she cannot 'think or talk properly'

Tough time: Her caption began with the question of ‘where she was at with her recovery,’ admitting she’s struggling with periods where she cannot ‘think or talk properly’

‘Maybe it’s a weird processing experience. It feels like I’m either really REALLY low in some specific chemical/hormone or way too high. But either way I can’t think properly or talk properly during those episodes. 

‘It sort of feels like I’m having a major allergic reaction to something in my brain. I go from feeling really low and agitated to then feeling a rush of something and then I get the worst cramping around my pelvis but then my brain levels out, a bit like the chemicals have been restored. I’ve been told that this isn’t a result of my mental health medication?!? Can anyone help with the physical side of things? 

‘I’ve tried eliminating certain things and tracking my lifestyle but I can’t figure out what it is. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern and it’s not to do with triggers. Weirdly I only seem to NOT get it when I don’t eat anything at all in a day (if I’m travelling I have to fast otherwise I have to fast because otherwise I have major gut issues).’

Concerns: The star continued that she fears she's suffering from a 'weird form of dementia,' and even exercising, one of her favourite mental escapes, can 'knock her for six'

Concerns: The star continued that she fears she’s suffering from a ‘weird form of dementia,’ and even exercising, one of her favourite mental escapes, can ‘knock her for six’

The star went onto write that she wants to find a way to ‘act normal’ when she struggles with ‘brain breakdowns,’ because she doesn’t want her son Leo to see her ‘broken.’

‘My system is still so out of balance. Last night I was up all night with the worst flu like symptoms. Agony to touch everywhere. I couldn’t lift Leo. I feel like I have inflammation all over my body, particularly in my neck, chest and brain,’ Louise continued in her post.

‘I know I definitely have it in my gastro tract, but why is my entire neck and head so sore? And why do I have such weird nerve sensations all over the right hand side of my face. My mind has been EVERYWHERE and now I just want someone to fix me. 

‘I know that I want to go back to being normal Louise so why won’t my body and brain just let me. As someone that is still trying to shift the label of ‘control freak’ this has been really hard to manage because I’m constantly seeking answers and am not getting very far. I don’t think anyone I speak to can relate. 

Detailed: Adding that she 'kind of dreads her life,' Louisa continued that 'can't understand how to have a good time at all'

Detailed: Adding that she ‘kind of dreads her life,’ Louisa continued that ‘can’t understand how to have a good time at all’

‘Just when I think I might be turning a corner I find myself feeling really ill. That puts me right back in a bad place. Then I question : Will I ever feel healthy again? And more importantly will I ever be able to think like a normal person again?’

Louise then admitted she’s begun to fear she has ‘a weird form of dementia’ after she struggled with ‘major memory losses between large periods of time.’

She continued: ‘Sadly I’m struggling to exercise too. When I have tried recently I’ve felt really unwell the next day. 

‘Mainly mentally low but physically battered too. That was always my go-to cure for all ailments mental and physical but now it knocks me for six. 

‘It’s getting really boring not being able to do the things I love, even with a bit of Leo help. I kind of dread my life, but then sometimes it’s manageable. 

Detailed: Continuing her post, Louisa admitted she's 'continuing to plod along with her newfound patience' and revealed Ryan is planning to get help for his own PTSD fears

Detailed: Continuing her post, Louisa admitted she’s ‘continuing to plod along with her newfound patience’ and revealed Ryan is planning to get help for his own PTSD fears

‘Sometimes I even have a really good time, but then when I’m in a bad place I can’t understand how I can have a good time at all. 

‘I just have to repeat this too shall pass. Sadly I can’t just pull myself out of the funk with happy thoughts or ”feel good” practises.’ 

‘Sometimes I think, f**k people must think this whole thing is a massive joke, because they will never EVER understand what it is like to have gone through what I’ve been through or to sit in my head for even a minute. 

‘I can’t even believe I’m still banging on about it myself. There aren’t really words that take you there. Let’s just say I wouldn’t wish it upon my WORST enemy, not that I have any enemies.

‘Anyway, I will continue to plod along with this newfound patience, but sometimes I think gosh this is just b******t. It feels very unfair. I think I have only just started to reach the anger stage too which is a bit strange for a typically unangry person. 

Miles apart: Ending her post, Louise explained that she's in an 'uncomfortable place' but eventually hopes that she can use her own struggles to help others

Miles apart: Ending her post, Louise explained that she’s in an ‘uncomfortable place’ but eventually hopes that she can use her own struggles to help others

Seeking help: Louise also detailed how she's been concerned that Ryan has also been suffering from PTSD, and said that while he is yet to undergo treatment

Seeking help: Louise also detailed how she’s been concerned that Ryan has also been suffering from PTSD, and said that while he is yet to undergo treatment

Family: Louise said she struggled to bond with her baby, son Leo, in his first months as she suffered with her mental health troubles

Family: Louise said she struggled to bond with her baby, son Leo, in his first months as she suffered with her mental health troubles

‘I’m really angry that things got so bad and that I had to go through all of this. It makes me sick. It has come v close to destroying my family and my relationship and I’m angry because of that. I’m also irrationally angry at strange things.’

Louise also detailed how she’s been concerned that Ryan has also been suffering from PTSD, and said that while he is yet to undergo treatment, she hopes it will work because she ‘hates seeing him suffer.’ 

She continued: ‘Soooo anyway … when I’m not feeling good and when I’m not with Leo my head goes funny, maybe because it has time to think. 

‘In those moments I feel like my brain is mush and I get frustrated because I want to be ON IT like I used to be. I recognise now that I was actually pretty smart before and I was definitely an over-achiever. 

‘Now I’m a fraction of my former self. I think the stark change makes matters worse. The old milestones I set for myself feel so far off. V distant. Thankfully I worked hard and saved before. I can currently only really work on automation…

'Suffering': Since giving birth to her son, Louisa has been incredibly candid about her struggles with 'catastrophic PTSD' after complications while giving birth left her close to death

‘Suffering’: Since giving birth to her son, Louisa has been incredibly candid about her struggles with ‘catastrophic PTSD’ after complications while giving birth left her close to death

‘So to answer where I’m at now… I’m at a cross roads, I’m in an uncomfortable place. I don’t know where I want to go. But some good must eventually come from this. I don’t know what I want to do with this experience. 

‘I had a meeting with my agent a few weeks ago which was lovely but also overwhelming, I suffered bouts of hysterical crying which seemed to come out of nowhere. 

‘I know I want to help myself and I want to help others but I don’t know how to do it yet. The scope of the charity project I want to embark on is a bit too big for me right now. 

‘I kind of want to work but I’m also scared. I guess I just need to do what feels right and authentic and then I can’t go wrong. 

‘My family think I should work because I loved it before. I don’t like people pushing me though. 

‘Hey, it sure as hell can’t make things any worse. And if this helps anyone else feel a bit more normal then I will get a bit of a kick out of that. How u doin?’

Insight: Just last week Ryan revealed his fiancée was back in hospital after receiving 'alarming' blood test results, with Louise later adding she'd begun 'talking therapy'

 Insight: Just last week Ryan revealed his fiancée was back in hospital after receiving ‘alarming’ blood test results, with Louise later adding she’d begun ‘talking therapy’

Since giving birth to her son, Louisa has been incredibly candid about her struggles with ‘catastrophic PTSD’ after complications while giving birth in November meant she had two very close brushes with death.

Just last week Ryan revealed his fiancée was back in hospital after receiving ‘alarming’ blood test results, and Louisa later revealed that she has seen a ‘reassuring doctor’ and began ‘talking therapy’ in a health update shared to Instagram on Friday. 

In the update, Louise thanked her followers for their well wishes and support after she asked if anyone suffering from crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis has had issues with mental health medication. 

Alongside a photo of her pet dog shared to her Stories, she penned: ‘Thank you for all your well wishes. So many kind messages and recommendations.

‘I saw a very reassuring doctor last night and I’m going to start biologics very soon.  Started this morning with a therapy session over in Fitzrovia which to do some good old fashioned talking therapy.’ 

Ryan had shared a devastating post where he detailed how he was ‘holding on by a thread’ in the wake of his partner’s most recent health battle.  

He wrote: ‘Just as I thought I was approaching a time period where I could focus some energy into my own therapy and healing, Louise unfortunately still struggles with various things every single day and some of those symptoms are worsening.

Heartbreaking: Ryan had himself admitted that he was 'hanging on by a thread' after Louise was re-admitted to hospital

Heartbreaking: Ryan had himself admitted that he was ‘hanging on by a thread’ after Louise was re-admitted to hospital

‘We’re now back at the hospital (this time private as we’ve been so let down by the NHS) because Louise has received some alarming blood test results.

‘At this moment I don’t know how serious this is, but it feels devastating to be sat outside a hospital waiting room, seven months on from Louise giving birth.

Ryan continued: ‘I’m holding on by a thread, trying to work, keep business alive, earn money to support Louise and Leo, trying to keep up with my own ambitions (and failing).

‘It’s not like me to share stories like this but I feel so s*** at the moment. Maybe this unload will help.’

Louise said she ‘just wants someone to fix me’ in her earlier post after a recent visit to the doctor showed that her Iron and hemoglobin levels are low.

She explained that the news as ‘triggering’ for her, following a traumatic health battle since delivering Leo.

Emotional: Louise said she 'just wants someone to fix me' in her earlier post after a recent visit to the doctor showed that her iron and hemoglobin levels are low

Emotional: Louise said she ‘just wants someone to fix me’ in her earlier post after a recent visit to the doctor showed that her iron and hemoglobin levels are low

Declaring that she doesn’t want to be labelled ‘mentally unwell’, she explained the feeling of being overlooked.

‘When I spoke to my psychiatrist she told me to make sure that any physical health doctors I see take my concerns seriously. I don’t want to just be labelled as ‘mentally unwell’ – I feel that I’m often overlooked.’

‘Anyway, I just got some recent blood test results back that I had to pay for privately and my iron and hemoglobin levels are low which is incredibly triggering. To be honest quite a few of them are either too high or too low which I find incredibly triggering too.’

She detailed: ‘Pre my traumatic experience and spending all that time in hospital I was super healthy working out 4 times a week and living a good life. Now I can hardly climb a flight of stairs without feeling exhausted. I get the most agonising pain too. I just want someone to fix me.’ 

If you have been affected by this story please contact Birth Trauma Association at birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

 For help and support with perinatal mental illness please contact PANDAS on 0808 1961 776

Breakdown: The former Made In Chelsea star has been documenting her journey with postnatal depression and anxiety

Breakdown: The former Made In Chelsea star has been documenting her journey with postnatal depression and anxiety

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