Bono reveals that his family ‘never spoke or thought about’ his mother after she died

‘We avoided the pain’: Bono reveals that his family ‘never spoke or thought about’ his mother after she died suddenly when he was just 14

Bono has revealed that his family ‘never spoke’ about his mother following her death when he was just 14. 

The U2 lead vocalist, 62, said he and his older brother Norman had very few memories of mum Iris for that reason and that it was to ‘avoid the pain’ over her loss. 

Iris died in September 1974, just days after having a stroke at her father’s funeral. 

Sad times: Bono (pictured) has revealed that his family 'never spoke' about his mother following her death when he was just 14

Sad times: Bono (pictured) has revealed that his family ‘never spoke’ about his mother following her death when he was just 14

Recounting the time after her death, Bono said in his new memoir Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story: ‘I fear it was worse than that. That we rarely thought of her again.

‘We were three Irish men, and we avoided the pain that we knew would come from thinking and speaking about her.’

At his grandfather’s funeral, he remembered people telling him that his mother had fainted.

Family: The U2 lead vocalist, 62, said he and his older brother Norman had very few memories of mum Iris for that reason and that it was to 'avoid the pain' over her loss (Iris and husband Bob pictured on their wedding day in 1949)

Family: The U2 lead vocalist, 62, said he and his older brother Norman had very few memories of mum Iris for that reason and that it was to ‘avoid the pain’ over her loss (Iris and husband Bob pictured on their wedding day in 1949) 

He recalled: ‘I spot my father carrying my mother in his arms through a crowd, like a white snooker ball scattering a triangle of colour. 

‘He’s rushing to get her to the hospital. She has collapsed at the side of the grave as her own father is being lowered into the ground.’

Three days later, he and Norman were brought to the hospital to say goodbye to their mother. 

After he told how the three men lived in ‘melancholy, mystery and melodrama’ due to the absence of Iris.

Raw: Recounting the time after her death, Bono said in his new memoir Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story: 'We were three Irish men, and we avoided the pain that we knew would come from thinking and speaking about her' (pictured in Bono with his father Bob in 2000)

Raw: Recounting the time after her death, Bono said in his new memoir Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story: ‘We were three Irish men, and we avoided the pain that we knew would come from thinking and speaking about her’ (pictured in Bono with his father Bob in 2000) 

It comes after earlier this year Bono revealed how he knelt in prayer in a candlelit French chapel seeking forgiveness from his late father for the way he treated him after his mother’s death.

In a candid interview on Desert Island Discs, the frontman said he finally felt ‘free’ after the gesture which allowed him to dispel the guilt that had plagued him for years.

‘I apologised to my father in a little chapel in France after he passed away,’ he said. ‘I went up to this little chapel, there was nobody there and lit a candle.

‘I got on my knees, and I just said ‘Look I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. You went through a lot, please forgive me’, and I felt free.’

Journey: It comes after earlier this year Bono revealed how he knelt in prayer in a candlelit French chapel seeking forgiveness from his late father for the way he treated him after his mother's death

Journey: It comes after earlier this year Bono revealed how he knelt in prayer in a candlelit French chapel seeking forgiveness from his late father for the way he treated him after his mother’s death 

The star believed he could have been more supportive to his father, Bob, after the death of his mother, Iris, from a brain aneurysm suffered at her own father’s funeral in 1974, when the singer was 14. 

On adapting to an all-male household with his father and brother, Norman, Bono – real name Paul Hewson – said: ‘I had a complicated relationship with Bob. You know I am sure I was hard to deal with. The annoying gene would have been very present.

‘He didn’t know quite what was going on and I subsequently understood he was coping with other stuff in his life. I feel like I wasn’t there for him really in a way I should be. He was very droll, very funny but it got rough.’

The relationship was further complicated when, in 2000, the singer discovered he had a half-brother – and his mother was unaware of her husband’s infidelity.

Recalling a stand-off, Bono said: ‘I asked him did he love my mother and he said ‘Yes’ and I said, ‘How could this happen?’ He said ‘It can’, and that he was trying to put it right, trying to do the right thing. He wasn’t apologising, just stating these are the facts.’

Despite the tensions, Bono spoke warmly of his father, who defied his Catholic family to marry Iris, a Protestant. He said U2, formed in 1976, became ‘another family’.

Close: He said U2, formed in 1976, became 'another family' after his difficult childhood (L-R: Adam Clayton, Bono, The Edge, Larry Mullen Jr. in 1981)

Close: He said U2, formed in 1976, became ‘another family’ after his difficult childhood (L-R: Adam Clayton, Bono, The Edge, Larry Mullen Jr. in 1981) 

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