- The unnamed woman, from the US, took to Reddit‘s Am I the A**hole forum
- She said her cousin, who is 20, acts like a ‘child’ – but her wedding was kid-free
- But other Reddit users were quick to slam the bridezilla over her decision
A bride-to-be has been slammed for not wanting to invite her autistic cousin to her wedding in case she ‘ruins her special day.’
The unnamed woman, believed to be based in the US, took to Reddit‘s Am I the A**hole forum to ask for feedback on her decision – and almost all users opposed it.
‘Next spring, I am getting married to the love of my life. We have decided that we don’t want children at our wedding,’ began the original poster.
The bride-to-be went on to describe how the ‘only ones to put up a fight’ were her aunt and uncle because she said she would prefer that their 20-year-old daughter, who is autistic, not attend the festivities.
The post stated: ‘[My cousin] is what they call “high-functioning,” which means she can talk and wash/dress herself, and she has some friends.’
It further elaborated that the cousin had graduated from high school and was currently living with her parents while working at a grocery store.
‘Despite her being technically an adult I just don’t see her as such. Every time I talk to her at a family gathering it’s like talking to a child.
‘She is obsessed with toy ponies and Barbie dolls, and brings them up at every opportunity. She draws in her notebook constantly and never makes eye contact when talking to me,’ the woman bemoaned of her cousin’s behavior.
The bridezilla went on to clarify of her autistic cousin that she isn’t prone to ‘loud meltdowns like other special needs kids I’ve met before.’
‘But,’ she continued, ‘I really don’t want to risk her ruining my special day.’
‘I told my aunt and uncle that I didn’t want her there and they became very upset,’ the post went on. ‘They said she already saw the invite and knew it was child-free but because she is an “adult,” she thought she was still included.’
The woman then alleged her aunt had tried to ‘guilt’ her by explaining that the cousin had already picked out a dress and gift for the occasion.
‘My fiancé says I’m being an a**hole and we should let her attend because she has attended other weddings before with no issue. Everyone is making me feel horrible for not treating her like an adult when she doesn’t act like one. Am I The A**hole?’ she concluded.
And other Reddit users did not hold back as they deemed the bride-to-be the unequivocal a-hole in the situation for wanting to exclude her cousin from the wedding on the basis of her autism.
‘What exactly makes you think she would “ruin your special day”? Simply the fact that she is autistic?!!’ one of the most upvoted comments fumed.
‘I hope the fiance realizes that if they ever became disabled [this woman] would probably turn on them so f**king fast. This kind of ableism runs so deep,’ someone else speculated.
A third echoed concerns about the bride-to-be’s capacity for empathy if confronted with a relative or child with a disability.
‘What happens if they have an autistic kid?,’ they wrote. ‘It runs in families since it’s typically tied to some level of genetics. If I was the family of the fiancé I would seriously sit them down and ask if they understood the gravity of what she is implying.’
Yet another went so far as to suggest that the woman’s fiancé wouldn’t be unreasonable for venturing to call off the wedding given the dynamics of the conflict.
‘If I were planning to marry someone and they acted this way (to anyone, but particularly a member of their own family), it would seriously make me see them in a different light. I would probably start thinking about calling off the wedding, to be honest.’