Does the pill change who you’re attracted to? Woman is lesbian after coming off the pill

Corporate worker, 30, realises she’s attracted to women after coming off the pill: ‘Within a month, I had changed’

  • Tessa Bona, from Melbourne, decided to stop using the contraceptive pill in 2021
  • Within a month the 30-year-old realised she was no longer attracted to men 
  • She also lost weight, felt less fatigued, and had a ‘more excitement for life again’ 
  • Tessa shared her experience in a TikTok alongside girlfriend Phoebe Chakar 
  • It comes as a life coach has encouraged women to get off the pill when dating 
  • Elisha Covey, from the US, claims the pill makes you attracted to different men

An Australian corporate worker who decided to stop using the contraceptive pill last year quickly realised she was no longer attracted to men. 

Tessa Bona, from Melbourne, had been taking the same pill from age 15 and noticed a number of physical changes within two to four weeks of coming off it. 

The 30-year-old told FEMAIL she ‘genuinely feels like a different person in the best way possible’ since making the change. 

Tessa shared her experience in a TikTok video alongside girlfriend Phoebe Chakar. 

The pair responded to a video featuring American life coach Elisha Covey who claims the pill changes which men women are attracted to.

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Tessa Bona, from Melbourne, (pictured left) had been taking the same contraceptive pill from age 15, and when she stopped using it last year she noticed she wasn't attracted to men anymore

The 30-year-old told FEMAIL she now feels like a 'different person in the best way possible' since making the change. Tessa shared her experience in a TikTok video alongside girlfriend Phoebe Chakar (right)

Within a month of coming off the contraceptive pill last year, Tess Bona (pictured left) noticed she wasn’t attracted to men anymore. The 30-year-old told FEMAIL she now feels like a ‘different person in the best way possible’ since making the change. Tessa shared her experience in a TikTok video alongside girlfriend Phoebe Chakar (right)

'While on the pill I had only been dating men, so in my opinion the hormone changes definitely had an impact on that. I can appreciate that men are attractive, but I'm not sexually drawn to them currently like I was when I was on it,' Tessa told FEMAIL

‘While on the pill I had only been dating men, so in my opinion the hormone changes definitely had an impact on that. I can appreciate that men are attractive, but I’m not sexually drawn to them currently like I was when I was on it,’ Tessa told FEMAIL 

‘While on the pill I had only been dating men, so in my opinion the hormone changes definitely had an impact on that. I can appreciate that men are attractive, but I’m not sexually drawn to them currently like I was when I was on it,’ Tessa told FEMAIL. 

‘I also think it absolutely changed who and what I was attracted to, within a month of being off it, I was a lot more curious and drawn to women.’ 

Not only did Tessa notice she was suddenly drawn to women, she also lost weight, lost fluid retention, felt less fatigued and instead more alive and ‘more excited with life again’. 

‘I think the pill made me extremely dull without even realising it over the years, especially towards the last couple of years of being on it,’ Tessa continued. 

‘I almost felt like my emotions weren’t regulating, like I couldn’t feel high highs or low lows, it was almost a numb feeling.’ 

Tessa said she was ‘relieved’ to stop using the pill because she had ‘no idea that impact it was having’ on her body. 

In the TikTok video, which has now been seen more than 305,000 times, Tessa’s girlfriend Phoebe said she’s also keen to stop using the pill – but expressed concerns over if it’ll change who she’s attracted to.

‘So I’m still on the pill and now I’m planning to get off it because I ain’t gonna get preg (pregnant),’ Phoebe said and pointed to Tessa.

‘What happens if I’m not attracted to her anymore?’ she said, then Tessa added: ‘Cause that’s some bulls***.’ 

Not only did Tessa notice she was suddenly drawn to women, she also lost weight, lost fluid retention, felt less fatigued and instead more alive and 'more excited with life again'

Not only did Tessa notice she was suddenly drawn to women, she also lost weight, lost fluid retention, felt less fatigued and instead more alive and ‘more excited with life again’

Phoebe asked whether anyone else has experienced changes in their sexuality after they’ve stopped using the pill.

Hundreds offered their stories and some claimed the ‘same thing’ happened to them.  

‘I got off birth control and literally became a lesbian,’ one woman wrote. 

‘I was engaged for four years, went off the pill, didn’t like him anymore,’ another said. 

A third added: ‘So true! Was with my ex for eight years (on the pill before I met him) when I got off the pill in January, we broke up in July.’ 

But others said they experienced no changes, or at least not many. 

‘I started dating a girl for the first time! then got off my birth control and nothing changed as far as attraction but I went thru the same panic,’ one woman wrote. 

Another said: ‘I had the opposite with my husband, came off and fell even more In love with him.’ 

Tessa said she was 'relieved' to stop using the pill because she had 'no idea that impact it was having' on her body

Tessa said she was ‘relieved’ to stop using the pill because she had ‘no idea that impact it was having’ on her body

It follows after life coach and podcast host claimed the contraceptive pill changes which men women are attracted to.

Elisha Covey, from Dallas, Texas, shared a snippet of her popular podcast in video to TikTok saying the men she dated while she was on the pill versus off the pill were ‘like night and day’.

The businesswoman and self-made millionaire recommended women stay off the pill while they’re dating to look for a ‘life partner’ in the clip that drew in more than 15.1million views and sparked a huge debate.

It follows after life coach Elisha Covey (pictured) sparked a lively debate after encouraging women to get off the pill while dating claiming it changes which men they're attracted to

It follows after life coach Elisha Covey (pictured) sparked a lively debate after encouraging women to get off the pill while dating claiming it changes which men they’re attracted to

‘Maybe trying to meet a life partner when you’re drugged is not a good idea,’ she said.

Speaking with co-host Dr Alex Spinoso, Elisha explained being on the birth control pill is like tricking your body into thinking it is pregnant. 

‘I said that on a podcast and people flipped out and it got like 4million views,’ she said.

Elisha shared a snippet of her popular podcast in video to TikTok saying the men she dated while she was on the pill versus off the pill was 'like night and day'

'Maybe trying to meet a life partner when you're drugged is not a good idea,' she said.

Elisha shared a snippet of her popular podcast in video to TikTok saying the men she dated while she was on the pill versus off the pill was ‘like night and day’

‘I think that if you’re on the pill obviously not pregnant you’re attracted to different men than you would be if you were off the pill.’ 

Elisha said she met her first husband while she was on the pill. 

After she had children and her first marriage broke down, she was off the pill and met her current partner Charles who she said is completely different. 

‘It’s absolutely true because it changes, not only your internal hormones but your neurotransmitters, hormones like oxytocin, the love drug that everybody talks about,’ Dr Alex added. 

‘It changes all those different patterns in your body when you’re on that versus when you’re off of it.’

A 2014 study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Science found hormonal contraception 'may have critical unintended effects on women's relationships' (stock image)

A 2014 study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Science found hormonal contraception ‘may have critical unintended effects on women’s relationships’ (stock image)

Many women in the comments agreed with Elisha’s take saying their attraction to their partner changed when they went on or off the contraceptive pill. 

‘This helps me understand why me and my ex husband started falling apart just after our wedding when I stopped using the pill,’ one viewer said. 

‘When I was on the pill: only dating men. When I stopped the pill: Started dating women,’ laughed another.   

Does the contraceptive pill trick your body into thinking it’s pregnant? 

The birth control pill functions primarily by preventing ovulation. 

The pill elevates the body’s levels of progesterone, which mimics pregnancy. 

The body behaves as though it is pregnant, disrupting the normal menstrual cycle and the release of additional hormones that cause a woman to ovulate. 

Progestin also thickens cervical mucus, which helps prevent sperm from entering the uterus. 

It may also prevent fertilized eggs from implanting properly in the lining of the uterus.

Source: The Embryo Project Encyclopedia

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However not everyone was convinced with one commenting: ‘That’s not true for everyone. I met and married my hubby on birth control. I’m off now and I’m still attracted and happily married’. 

‘But if the two relationship were 10 years apart wouldn’t it mean that you just changed and realised what you actually want in a relationship?’ a second asked. 

A 2014 study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Science found hormonal contraception ‘may have critical unintended effects on women’s relationships’.

It followed 118 heterosexual couples who met while the woman was on birth control and found she was less attracted to her partner when she went off the pill. 

However, the findings show a woman’s attraction to her partner depended on how conventionally good looking he was. 

When they went off birth control, women were more likely to still be attracted to their partner if they ‘had a relatively more attractive face’ than if they weren’t conventionally handsome by ‘evolutionary standards’.

Florida State graduate student who is the lead author on the study, Michelle Russell, told TIME if your husband is not conventionally attractive and you go off the pill, his attractiveness might bother you more than before.

‘Women who choose a partner when they’re on hormonal contraceptives and then stop taking them will prioritise their husband’s attractiveness more than they would if they were still on it,’ she said.  

She said the change could be because of fluctuating estrogen levels or many hormonal reasons and added the research should not dissuade women from taking contraceptives as it is only the results of one finding. 

‘Any drug that you take, people want to be informed consumers. This is just one factor women might want to consider when deciding whether or not to use them,’ she said.

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