I don’t even let my own mum hold my sixth month old

A woman has left people shocked after revealing she gatekeeps which visitors can hold her sixth month old – including the infant’s own grandmother.

The mother, believed to be from the UK, shared that she felt she made a mistake in letting visitors – and ‘particularly grandparents – hold her first child.

Writing on the Mumsnet forum, the mother-of-two under two shared that she will not ‘promise to let any visitor hold the baby, only if it works for us’, meaning visitors have to chip in on cooking, cleaning and laundry or a look-in. 

These rules are even extended to her mother-in-law, who she only let hold her now sixth month old daughter for a brief moment.

Users on the parenting site were left astounded by her unrealistic set of demands, with one commenting: ‘I literally can’t believe what I’ve just read.’ 

The mother-of-two revealed visitors, grandmother included, have to do their fair share of chores if they want to hold the baby

The mother of two girls explained she has emphasised the message to all friends and family and added even her husband is onboard with the idea, even if it upsets his mother.

Detailing the paternal grandmother’s most recent visit, the anonymous poster recalled how her mother-in-law asked for a cup of tea, to which the mother-of-two pointed to a cupboard whilst holding her newborn.

However, despite having a set of rules for her mother-in-law, it seems the woman doesn’t impose the same rules on her own mother because she finds her much more helpful with the baby.

She stated: ‘Perhaps a little different because without being asked during my pregnancy my mum would bring me home cooked food. 

‘She would come and help with the laundry when I couldn’t bend down so much to do it.’

The woman shared that as soon as her child looks 'uncomfortable' she takes her straight back

However the same rules don't apply with absolutely everyone, as her own mother has been allowed to hold her daughter every visit, unlike her mother-in-law

She added: ‘She would clean as I spent precious time with my daughter whilst she was still my only baby.’

But when the paternal grandmother asked if she could help with the children, the mother suggested she could put a load of the girls’ clothes in the wash instead.

The grandmother only briefly held the sixth-month-old, before the mother swooped her away as she ‘started looking uncomfortable.’

When the baby was once again settled, the grandmother gestured to hold her once more. She explained she replied ‘no thank you’ to her mother-in-law. 

The poster said her mother-in-law left the house ‘heartbroken’, and added: ‘Later she called my husband crying that she isn’t being allowed to be a granny and she wants to play a bigger role in our family than she currently is. 

Mumsnet users were left in disbelief after reading the mother's selective rules for her mother-in-law, with many branding her as 'rude'

‘My husband says he’s heartbroken to see his precious mum cry and if it means so much to her we should make an exception for her.’

Mumsnet users were astonished and appalled by the selective boundaries set by the mother, with many expressing sympathy for the paternal grandmother. 

One individual commented: ‘I can’t imagine not being allowed to cuddle and play with my grandkids. How awful.’

Another added: ‘You sound really unpleasant. Don’t come back moaning in a year or so saying that your child has no relationship with their grandparents.’

Some were in half-agreement on the rules for newborns, with one person adding: ‘First couple of weeks might be understandable but your baby is six months old. I loved seeing the love between the rest of my family and baby.’

Others were astounded and refused to believe the post was even real, with one person writing: ‘Is this a joke? You only want people to visit you if they do chores? You sound like a nightmare.’

Another chimed in: ‘is this real? I can’t believe you’re being so rude. She’s not your maid! She just wants to cuddle her grandchild! Have a heart!’


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