I vacationed with my ‘disabled’ friend and I refuse to do it again

  • The woman shared her story to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole subreddit 
  • She refuses to travel again with her disabled friend – saying she was ‘difficult’
  • Redditors backed the woman, agreeing her friend should be more organized  

A woman has revealed she is refusing to vacation with her disabled friend again after their nightmare getaway.

The unnamed woman posted her conundrum to the Am I The A**hole subreddit, explaining she recently went on vacation with a childhood friend of hers who is disabled – but doesn’t plan on doing it again.

The woman explained she and her friend – who she called Ashley – have a long history, having known each other since they were in their early teens and are now both in their 30s.

‘We planned to go on a short vacation together to the city which was Ashley’s idea,’ the woman explained in the Reddit post. 

The Redditor explained her friend has fibromyalgia, meaning she is in pain and is exhausted a lot of the time (stock image)

The unnamed woman explained her situation on the Am I the A**hole subreddit to gauge reaction about her decision

‘We planned this over a year in advance to stay for 3 nights.’ 

She explained her friend suffers from fibromyalgia, which – according to the Mayo Clinic – is a condition characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues, and makes some of the activities they wanted to participate in difficult.

‘The actual vacation was okay but I found being around Ashley stressful,’ the woman explained. 

‘She extremely overpacked (she brought 7 outfits, different types of hair dryers, and a bunch of other stuff that just wasn’t needed) and was always complaining about how heavy her bags are,’ she continued.

‘She insisted on going for long walks through the city but then would get tired and say we need to get a taxi home as she can’t walk back.’

The woman continued saying things reached breaking point on the way home from their weekend trip when Ashley had a meltdown and caused a scene at the train station.

She explained Ashley was told there wouldn’t be a wheelchair available for her to use as she was struggling to walk to her platform.

‘[The staff said] they were all being used and asked if she booked assistance,’ the woman recounted. ‘She hadn’t.’ 

The train staff told Ashley a chair should be available ‘in around an hour’ – but that wasn’t soon enough for her, with the horrified friend saying Ashley ‘lost her cool.’

‘Ashley [yelled] at them and said that she’s going to miss her train, and she sat on the floor,’ the woman recalled. ‘I tried to calm her down but there was just no use. She was very insulting and called them names, it was so embarrassing.’

Redditors didn't hold back when assuring the woman she was not in the wrong, saying Ashely should not use her disability as an excuse

When they eventually got home, Ashley asked the woman if she wanted to go on a similar vacation next year – to which she quickly replied ‘no.’

‘I told her no thanks,’ the woman said. ‘I tried to explain to her that I think after our experience it’s better if we don’t vacation together. 

‘Ashley is now angry with me and said I’m being ableist but I struggle to put up with how disorganized she is in regards to her own needs,’ she further explained.

Although Ashley wasn’t happy with the situation, Reddit users agreed with the original poster, saying her friend should know how to manage her own needs and not rely on other people. 

‘I rolled my eyes when I started reading this because I also have fibromyalgia and then immediately changed my mind,’ one person wrote. ‘Your friends fibro doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that your friend is budgeting her energy inappropriately, and then proceeding to take it out on others, that’s all happening because she’s an a**hole.’

‘She’s blaming her illness, which makes her more of an a**hole and makes the rest of us look bad.’

Many echoed the same sentiment – that Ashley’s disorganization isn’t anyone else’s problem.

‘If she knows that she only has so much energy then she needs to plan ahead and book what is needed to enjoy life,’ one user advised.

‘If that means pre-booking a wheelchair at the airport, so be it. If it means taking a taxi to your destination and walking back to your accommodations, so be it. 

‘Friend takes no responsibility for her own well being and is throwing tantrums,’ they continued. ‘I wouldn’t travel with her again either.’


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