I’m 59 and I NEVER want to have sex again after being widowed – holding hands is my love language

I’m 59 and I NEVER want to have sex again after being widowed twice – holding hands is my love language now

  • Monica Zwolsman, 59, says she has no interest in having sex with someone new 
  • The single mother has been tragically widowed twice and is also divorced 
  • She says would love to find romance again but only if doesn’t involve having sex 

A single mother has revealed she never wants to have sex again and claims that holding hands is more romantic to her now that her libido has waned.

Monica Zwolsman, 59, who lives in Sydney, Australia, explained how she noticed a dramatic decrease in her sex drive after having her two sons and said that it was ‘what nature intended’.

In a personal essay for Mamma Mia, the mother – who has tragically been widowed twice – questioned whether any women over the age of 55 still experiences sexual desire and insisted she ‘doesn’t care about being unf***able’.

When researching the issue for her piece online, Monica says she came across countless medical websites telling her that there was ‘something wrong’ with her body.

Monica says almost every website recommended taking hormones or having therapy as a means to restore her libido. 

The mother-of-two wrote: ‘The intimation is that all natural, healthy women want sex, no matter what their age, so I am in some way lacking – either mentally, physically or hormonally.

Monica Zwolsman, 59, who lives in Sydney, Australia, says she never wants to have sex again with anyone new. The mother-of-two says her sex drive dramatically dropped after having chidren

Monica Zwolsman, 59, who lives in Sydney, Australia, says she never wants to have sex again with anyone new. The mother-of-two says her sex drive dramatically dropped after having chidren

Monica says she has 'loved deeply' in her life and has been tragically widowed twice and divorced once. Pictured with a previous partner on holiday

Monica says she has ‘loved deeply’ in her life and has been tragically widowed twice and divorced once. Pictured with a previous partner on holiday

‘I am not stressed. I am happy. I have lots of time. I am in perfect health. But I just don’t want to be that damn intimate with anyone.’ 

The mother then went on to explain how she’s loved ‘deeply’ in her life – but as she’s gotten older, she now prioritises ‘hand holding and hugs’ over having sex.

In the 1990s, Monica’s first husband Ken was tragically shot dead in a South African war zone two weeks before the country’s democratic elections.

Then in 2003, the mother – who had only just given birth to son Benjamin – lost her second husband Stephen to a heart attack at the age of 39.

Now a single mother with two grown-up sons, Monica says that her idea of a romantic night in consists of sitting on the sofa and watching TV or reading a book as opposed to having passionate sex. Pictured during her appearance on Sunrise last June

Now a single mother with two grown-up sons, Monica says that her idea of a romantic night in consists of sitting on the sofa and watching TV or reading a book as opposed to having passionate sex. Pictured during her appearance on Sunrise last June

Shortly afterwards, Monica’s first child passed away and she went on to marry for a third time.

Now a single mother with two grown-up sons, Monica says that her idea of a romantic night in consists of sitting on the sofa and watching TV or reading a book as opposed to having passionate sex.

After doing a callout on social media, the mother was reassured to know that her peers hold the same view.

She continued: ‘I miss hugging someone and burrowing into their armpit, skin-to-skin contact and spooning in bed. Most of all, I would like to have someone of my very own who is always there as an anchor. 

‘But if it means I have to trade the privacy of my genitals to get this, then I am out, because I don’t want the rest that badly. I have a dog for companionship and unconditional love. I have sons, sisters and brothers for family.’

Last year, Monica’s son Soren went viral after he was pictured wearing a woman’s swimming costume, which social media users were led to believe was a ‘punishment’ inflicted on him by his coach.

A photo of Soren Zwolsman (pictured), now 17, wearing a floral one-piece swimsuit four years ago sent shockwaves through Australia swimming after it was reported the shot captured the youth being bullied by a coach.

A photo of Soren Zwolsman (pictured), now 17, wearing a floral one-piece swimsuit four years ago sent shockwaves through Australia swimming after it was reported the shot captured the youth being bullied by a coach. 

A four-year-old photo of Soren Zwolsman, now 17, wearing a one-piece swimsuit was seized upon as evidence of routine bullying of young swimmers by coaches, but Monica said there was an innocent explanation.

Olympic silver medallist Maddie Groves originally sparked a debate about treatment of young swimmers when she tweeted that ‘misogynistic perverts’ within the sport were body-shaming and gaslighting them.

The photo of Soren Zwolsman was then used as supposed evidence of bullying, with claims he was made to wear it as punishment for ‘swimming like a girl’ but his mother Monika Zwolsman said the photo was grossly misinterpreted and the story around it ‘created out of the air’. 

‘What happened, is that my son (and the coach) were having a quality session. He had forgotten his togs, so he looked around and saw the (girl’s) togs,’ Ms Zwolsman told Sunrise last June.

‘He threw them on and obviously they were a bit small, so he thought it won’t work, so he then decided he will cycle instead.’

Ms Zwolsman took aim at the wannabe bullying whistleblower who provided the photo to media, asking why that person was taking candid photos of a 13-year-old boy trying on a swimsuit.

‘What we need to be looking at here is who took pictures of my 13-year-old son changing in and out of swimmers,’ the mother-of-two said.

‘Who was that pervert? And what other photos does he have of my son in that situation? That’s what I want to know.’

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