I’m fuming after the other mothers on the school run didn’t invite me out to lunch – people are telling me to get over it but it’s crushing
A parent has sparked fierce debate online after she admitted to being ‘crushed’ when she wasn’t invited to lunch with other mothers from the school run.
The anonymous woman posted on British parenting forum Mumsnet to ask for advice about feeling left out.
She wrote: ‘My daughter only has 12 in her class so this has bothered me probably more than it would if she had 30 kids.
‘We have a class WhatsApp group, everyone is friendly and nice, we all get along well, no issues at all.
‘Today at pick up I noticed about six or seven of the other mums walking back from lunch/drinks together.
‘I hadn’t been invited. I said hi to them all as I usually would but felt absolutely crushed that they hadn’t thought to invite me.
‘I’m not particularly sociable but always pleasant and chatty if I see them. Am I being unreasonable to think this was a bit mean of them?’
Users took to the thread to ask the woman why she thought she was entitled to an invite and proceed to tell her that ‘life isn’t fair.’
One wrote: ‘Why would they invite you? You aren’t friendly with them. Sounds like not all the other mums were invited either.
‘I understand with the kids that in certain situations, it’s very mean to exclude, but as adults – especially at the school gates….who cares?’
Another said: ‘Of course it’s not mean of them. It’s fine to go for lunch with friends; you don’t have to invite every parent in your kids’ class along.’
A third penned: ‘Life isn’t fair, deal with it. Not everyone is going to like you, you’re not entitled to anything.’
A fourth commented: ‘They may well all be friends, and anyway it wasn’t all of the Mums.
‘You said yourself you aren’t particularly sociable, so why would they ask you to lunch? It’s certainly not worth feeling “crushed” about.’
Another wrote: ‘Don’t be one of those who wants to be in on everything. That’s a surefire way to annoy folk.
‘Maybe they are all friends. It wasn’t as if every mum was asked except you.’
But the original poster then wrote a comment, as she felt other users were being too harsh.
The anonymous mother said: ‘Blimey there are some nasty comments on here. Maybe I expect too much from people.
‘I’d like to think people were kind and cared about the feelings of others. Some of these comments suggest that is not the case!’
But others were more sympathetic towards the woman.
One user wrote: ‘Whoa. Lots of really harsh messages on here. OP (original poster) -try not to take to heart.
‘I’m in a similar situation class size wise and don’t invite everyone along if arrange socials – but not because I don’t like them – more that some of us know each other better from pre-school.’
Another person spoke about their own experience trying to join a group of mums and said: ‘Sounds like you’re in the same boat as me – nothing you can do unless you want to force your way into the group.
‘It’s s*** though isn’t it? Moving away in the summer. Given up trying with this group.’
A third penned: ‘Ignore some of the replies on here op (original poster), typical Mumsnet, no-one is allowed be upset about anything.
‘I would be upset too if it was me. Hard to judge if they were being mean, it’s possible it started with a couple of friends and then they asked a couple more and it grew into something bigger.
‘I think if more than half the mums are going it would be nice if they stuck it on the WhatsApp and invited the rest of the mums.’