Jamie Otis is giving a candid look at what it takes to make a marriage work.
“We’re not giving up on each other—not now, not ever,” she started in the caption.
“TBH, sitting in the car in a random parking lot crying-like the hard ugly cry with snotty noses & hiccups-was not at all what I intended on sharing today…but here we are,” Otis continued. “We just finished a heated call with our therapist. It started with anger, yelling, blaming..but ended with us holding each other and trying to figure out our next steps TOGETHER… “
“Gosh, a good therapist is everything!” Otis said.
She added that she intended to post some body positive content, “but honestly, right now I feel like that just isn’t my own reality. I’m not gonna slap a smile on my face and pop up a pretty picture if that’s not my true reality…that feels so fake and wrong.”
“I’m a multifaceted, ever-changing person who is a complete mess at times…and lately, I feel like I’ve been a mess ALL of the time,” the mother-of-two wrote.
Otis went on to declare that she’s a “fighter” and that she’ll continue to fight for her family, friends and fans.
“Right now, I’m fighting for my marriage. For my children. For ME,” she concluded. “When I get to the other side of this battle I will be back here fighting for YOU and for all of US WOMEN again. But any good fighter knows you gotta focus on one battle at a time. Thank you for always standing in my corner & cheering me on … I love you! Truly!”
The Bachelor alum tied the knot with Hehner, 37, on Married at First Sight in March 2014, and they’ve since documented their union on the show and its spinoff Married at First Sight: The First Year, as well as their YouTube series, Married Life.
Back in May, on an episode of Otis and Hehner’s Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. podcast, Otis told life coach Dr. Gertrude Lyons that she’s had “a really hard time trusting that everything [Doug] says is true” and feels she’s more prone to “open up old wounds.”
“When you’re stressed you don’t have the ability to stay calm,” Otis said, adding, “I’m in a rut here and I’m begging for help in every aspect of my life … I’m angry and sad and hurt and I don’t know what to do.”
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The couple shares daughter Henley Grace, 3½, and 15-month-old son Hendrix Douglas. They’ve also suffered the loss of two pregnancies, which they’ve opened up about in the past.
Otis recently celebrated what would have been their late son Johnathan Edwards’ 5th birthday, after she had a miscarriage at four months pregnant.
“Happy birthday to my sweet boy who made me a mommy. I only got to hold him briefly before he was taken away from me. Johnathan would be 5 today if he had survived,” she wrote. “I’ve lost a lot of pregnancies, but losing him tore my world apart.”