Obsessive thoughts, constant distraction and a sudden loss of interest in hobbies you once enjoyed are among the early warning signs that something is wrong in your relationship, a clinical psychologist has warned.
Gabby Goodier, from Perth, Western Australia, on Friday shared a list of 12 red flags that prove you have ‘reached a limit’ with your certain elements of your partner’s behaviour.
These include unexplained insomnia, anxiety, mounting resentment and not having time for friends and family, according to the founder of The Sage Society, an online practice specialising in parenting, love and personal development.
Being overly critical of either yourself or your partner is also cause for concern, Ms Goodier said, as is the niggling sense that you can’t be your true self around them.
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Clinical psychologist Gabby Goodier (pictured) says obsessive thoughts and a sudden loss of interest in hobbies you once enjoyed are warning signs that all is not well in your relationship
Perhaps the most obvious alarm bells are an inability to say ‘no’ to your partner and developing harmful habits like eating badly, avoiding exercise and drinking to excess.
If you are experiencing even one of these issues, Ms Goodier said it’s time to reevaluate your boundaries and decide what you really want from the relationship.
‘Recognising and having awareness of your red flags is one of the best ways to intervene before things become problematic,’ she told Daily Mail Australia.
If you are unsure about calling it quits, Ms Goodier said feeling contempt for your partner is usually an indicator that the relationship is over.
‘When you are engulfed in a vortex of negativity, contempt is usually the final nail in the coffin,’ she said.
The 12 relationship red flags
1. You are overly critical towards yourself or your partner
2. You think obsessively about your partner
3. You feel resentful
4. You feel like you don’t have enough time for other people in your life
5. You feel depleted or depressed
6. You feel anxious
7. You feel you can’t say no to your partner
8. You forget to take care of yourself
9. You get easily distracted
10. You feel you can’t fully be yourself
11. You have lost interest in activities you previously enjoyed
12. You are experiencing sleep difficulties
Source: Clinical psychologist Gabby Goodier via The Sage Society
Obsessive thoughts about your partner (left) and suddenly destructive behaviour like neglecting diet and exercise and drinking to excess (right) are telltale warning signs
‘Even those subtle forms start to slowly erode any connectivity that once held you together.
‘Once your relationship is at that point of disconnection it is extremely challenging to find a path back to one another and sometimes it truly is healthier to get out sooner rather than later.’
And when it comes to cutting off toxicity before it begins, Ms Goodier tells her clients there are three cardinal sins that should never be accepted: abuse, addiction and infidelity.
‘It is most definitely possible to still love a person even with these variables at play, especially with the help of a mental health professional, but that never means you need nor should ‘tolerate’ the behaviour,’ she said.
For more advice on love and relationships, please visit The Sage Society here.