What’s the best sex YOU’VE ever had? Tracey Cox asks people to reveal their raunchiest experiences – from ‘performing’ for a neighbour to a woman who slept with her best friend’s fiancé
- Expert Tracey Cox asks Brits the question: what’s the best sex you’ve ever had?
- A New York City local admitted putting on sex show for her unknown neighbour
- Another revealed they had the best sex of their life with their cousin’s ex-partner
Ask people what their favourite movie is and the answer is often, ‘Oh I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to one’.
Ask them what’s the best sex they’ve ever had in their life, and they answer fast and without hesitation.
Almost everyone has one stand-out experience that knocks the socks off the rest.
What ingredients do you need for a sex session that’s hotter than any you’ve had before – or will again?
I asked a cross-section of people to anonymously reveal their very best time in bed – and this is what they told me.
Brits have shared their best and raunchiest sexual experiences with sex expert Tracey Cox. Stock picture
My girlfriend stripped on stage
We were young and in Spain on a group holiday with our mates. One day we all ended up horribly drunk at some seedy strip bar on ‘Amateur’s Night’. The girls in the audience were invited to come up and strip for a prize of £100 for the best performance.
My girlfriend at the time was quite conservative but we’d been doing shots all day. She watched other girls get up and kept saying to me they were rubbish and she could do better.
Next thing, she puts her name down to do it. And boy did she go for it! Stripping is weird: she went topless on the beach all the time and wore a thong bikini bottom. But seeing her expose her breasts inside, with tons of men cheering her on, was entirely different.
Expert Tracey Cox asks Brits the question: what’s the best sex you’ve ever had?
She didn’t win but I thought she was amazing. We went back to the hotel and had sex and that image of her up on the stage is still something that gets me hot all these years later.
I spied on my flatmates having sex
My flatmate got a new boyfriend and they were at it all the time. One night, I came back home late, drunk, and saw they’d left their bedroom door open a little.
I couldn’t resist looking in and saw her lying back on the bed, with her top pushed up and one of her boyfriend’s hands on her breast while he licked her.
I was shocked and fled to my room but felt so turned on, I got my vibrator out. The orgasm I had was mind-blowing.
We watched porn with friends
Back in the 80s, my wife and I stayed with a couple who were old friends. They invited another couple over for a meal and after dinner, we sat in their tiny lounge.
There were only three seats, so the women sat on each of their bloke’s laps. We talked about a sporting event that the host said he’d recorded on video. (God, this does show my age!)
He put it on but it was porn, not the sports event. He laughed and said it was a mistake, but he left it playing and we all watched it for a little while. I got the impression there were a few discreet things going on between all the couples during it.
Later when we headed to bed (just the two of us, I hasten to add), the sex was explosive.
I slept with my best friend’s fiancé
My best friend had moved to France about two years earlier and emailed to say she’d got engaged and was coming home to introduce him.
The second I saw him, I felt a jolt of connection and know he did too. We hung out as a threesome for the week and it was excruciating. Every time she left us alone, our eyes would bore into each other.
One night, my friend went to bed early and we both stayed up. We snuck out to a park for privacy and he cupped my face and kissed me and said, ‘This is wrong but I am powerless to resist’.
Nothing happened that night but the next day, my friend went to visit old friends. He begged off and called me to come over and that was that.
We’re kissing and then he’s touching my breasts and my body and I have never longed for anything so much or since than having him inside me.
He said, “See we’re built for each other. We fit.” The whole thing was over in minutes but it was the best sex I’ve ever experienced. It only happened once: they got married and have a child now. I don’t feel great about what I did but the sex was extraordinary.
I wonder if it would have stayed like that if we had got together. That was six years ago and everything since pales in comparison.’
It was the first time I had sex with my husband
‘I loved my now husband for many years before he even noticed me. He’s the brother of one of my best friends: older than me and way better looking. I was infatuated with him from the age of 14 but it took until our 20s for him to notice me.
What makes sex memorable?
Judging on the responses I got to the question ‘What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?’, there are four central elements.
Doing it with someone forbidden
The over-riding theme wasn’t what the person got up to but who they got up to it with. And that was invariably someone forbidden.
Forbidden people are always the ones who inspire the greatest longing purely because we know we can’t have them. If we do, the experiences earns itself top billing in our Sex Hall of Fame.
Bosses, teachers, best friend’s boyfriends, sex workers and strangers – all get named if you pose the question ‘Who was your best?’.
Doing something forbidden
Playing second fiddle – but by no means less exciting – is the sex act itself.
Having sex somewhere risqué (in public, at a tourist attraction), doing something you’ve never done before (anal sex, first-time oral sex), having a longed-for threesome, all of these make for intense experiences people rarely forget.
Letting go of all control
Given most of us are self-critical during sex (what do my breasts look like in this position?/Am I hard enough?), it’s not surprising that sex where you ‘lose yourself’ is high on the ‘best sex list’.
‘I forgot about everything but what they were doing to me.’ ‘Anyone could have walked in and I wouldn’t have known or cared.’
Power comes into play here: being tied up or ‘forced’ to enjoy sex elevates it to another level, especially for conservative lovers who aren’t normally adventurous.
Finally, there’s connection.
Feeling a physical ‘jolt’ of longing when you first lock eyes. Getting to bed someone you’ve been infatuated with for years.
The connection can be physical or emotional but it’s always intense.
Because his sister was my best friend, he didn’t make a move until he was sure it wasn’t just going to be a fling. The first time he kissed me, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
The first time we made love, it was so gentle and loving. He kept stopping and pulling back to look me in the eyes, saying, “I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner”. The experience was magical and unbelievably romantic.’
I put on a live sex show for the man across the road
I lived in an apartment block in New York on the top floor. It faced lots of other flats but the ones opposite had the best view inside my apartment. One night, I noticed a man staring at me.
I like my body. I’ve never been concerned about being seen naked and walked around the place naked all the time. He looked quite attractive, so I stopped and let him admire me and waved. He didn’t wave back but he didn’t move. I walked off but returned five minutes later.
He was still standing there, waiting for me. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I could see he was touching himself. I suddenly felt the urge to do the same and used my fingers to bring myself to orgasm.
Throughout the whole thing, he didn’t look at my face once, just my body. I had the feeling he despised me for being so exhibitionistic and “slutty” but couldn’t help but be aroused. It was a massive power kick. He lived there for about three months, but we avoided looking at each other after that.
I had sex with my cousin’s ex
I was 19 and out with mates and ended up chatting with some girls. One of them was my cousin’s ex-girlfriend. We were all drinking and ended up going back to a friend’s house to party on and sleep over.
I’d always fancied her but was startled when she offered to share one of the beds with me. I asked if she minded if I slept in my boxers, she said no. She asked if I minded if she slept in her underwear, I said no.
We got into bed and it was awkward because she was a no-no zone but I took a chance and put my arm over her waist and next minute we were kissing like there was no tomorrow.
The passion was incredible – hands and fingers and tongues were everywhere. We had sex all night and continued into the morning. She was insatiable and like nothing I’ve experienced before or since. I’m not sure if it was the taboo of being my cousin’s ex or the filthy sex itself but it was hands down the best sex I’ve ever had.
I seduced a virgin
I was renting a gorgeous four bedroom house in Australia. I already had one flatmate: a guy I worked with who was sweet but unattractive. I advertised for another and this guy was the first one to come and look at the room. He was sexy: tall, broad shoulders, with a fantastic body. I looked him up and down and he blushed bright red.
He was checking me out as much as the room but was clearly shy. We tip-toed around each other the first few days but it was flirty from the start. We’d watch TV together and even the clueless, geeky flatmate looked a bit disconcerted by the obvious sexual tension.
The night it all kicked off, we’d been chatting in the kitchen and having a glass of wine. On impulse, he crossed the room and kissed me. It was tentative and a little clumsy, but I’d been waiting for this moment for ages. I snogged him back and started to undo his jeans but he stopped me and said ‘I’ve never done this. I’ve never been with a woman before’.
I was so shocked, I thought he meant he was gay! This guy was hot and in his early 20s: how could he be a virgin? I was all hot and bothered but this was unexpected: I didn’t want the responsibility of him losing his virginity to me and made it clear this was just going to be sex and nothing more. He said fine and could he just kiss me again – and then it was back on.
The first time was clunky but he learnt fast and gave the best oral I’ve ever had. We slept together about half a dozen times before he found himself a girl he liked and we agreed to stop.
THE BEST OF THE REST
My best sex I ever had was…
‘When I gave up alcohol for a year. I always thought drunk sex was better because I’d let loose. But sex feels much sharper and the sensations more vibrant when you aren’t dulled by a drug.’
‘When I had a threesome with two men. My wife wanted to do it and I’d always resisted because I don’t have any gay tendencies. I didn’t kiss or interact with the other guy but being there watching her do things with him was such a turn on. Also quite informative: his technique was different than mine. I learnt quite a bit!’
‘When I had sex with a workman who was doing DIY in my house. It was such a cliché but he was there for three weeks and we had a lot of laughs. It seemed rude not to ask him to stay for a drink when it was all completed and one thing led to another. The sex was raw and quick and lust-driven – exactly how it should have been.’
‘When I was sleeping with four different women. They all knew I wasn’t monogamous, so no-one got hurt. I had sex with three of them, on separate occasions, in one day. I felt like a porn star!’
‘With a sex worker in Amsterdam. Usual thing: there on a stag night. But, for me, it was the most adventurous thing I’d done. The girl was up for anything and I did everything I wanted to without having to worry whether it was OK to ask for it or not.’
Listen to Tracey’s brand new weekly podcast, SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey here. Visit traceycox.com for her blog, books and product ranges.